Are you tired of those sissy "friendship" poems that
always sound good,

But never actually come close to reality?

Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true
friendship.

You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card-

Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot
revenge against

The sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is
choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something
that I must be involved in. 

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance
I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you
horrible stories about how much Worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay away from me until you are well

Again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

9. This is my oath... I pledge it to the end. "Why?"
you may ask;

" because you are my friend".

Friendship is like peeing your pants,

everyone can see it,

But only you can feel the true warmth.

Send this to 10 of your closest friends,

Then get depressed because you can only think